Of Dinner and Dates

I had a dinner date, of sorts, last night. She — a close friend — and her daughters, came to my house. They arrived just as I finished my jog…I was still in the street walking home when she pulled up. Once in my house, her daughters set about playing…she cooked dinner while I showered. We sat at my dining room table and had our meal.

I had forgotten how much I missed that family vibe. Almost every day, for the past year, it has just been me and Clark Kent (CK), my dog, bouncing around my house. I did not realize I missed that vibe until last night. It felt good, it felt right. My friends tease me — some criticize me — for dating women younger than am I. But last night reminded me why I choose to do that…I miss being a part of a family with children!

I have tried to explain that to friends, but they do not understand. They tell me I am being silly, or that I need to date age appropriate women. The thing is, though, I have no interest in slowing down, or retiring (I tell my friends that they will know when I am dead as they pull my face up from the keyboard of my laptop and find a key stuck to my face), I don’t want to be that guy who enjoys his grandchildren for a day then hands them back to their parents. I still feel that I want a family around me, I want to raise children, and to be a father (or step father!). I love how that feels, how it is so comfortable hearing small footsteps run up and down the stairs, hearing the booms and crashes as children are jumping off the beds, giving hugs when the landing is hard, and — as I learned last night- how much fun it will be to watch Clark Kent following the children around, engaging in their play and protecting them!

I totally own up to being a romantic. I love how that feels, how it makes me smile and dream. I had forgotten how much I smiled, and how easy it is to be that version of me. I like watching books from my shelf become a tower, or later finding things hidden around the house, or watching young minds explore, experiment, and discover. Later, I relish the conversations that begin with “what if,” “why,” and “how come,” signs of a young mind engaging the world and intellectually exploring, finding her or his part in the scheme of life, solving problems and seeing our world through their own lens, and me standing by to gently guide them through that maze.

I know I am not the usual man of my age, no one needs to remind me of that. I work hard, work out hard, and am healthy and aware of my well being. I am happy that I have this desire in me, that it is part of my construct, that I find joy in being part of a family again (and I love that CK does, too!). I love the smile I see on my face, I love the smiles I see in response! This is what will keep me young, keep me vibrant and engaged…What could be better?